For time I try to find ” the connection ” between what happen to me in here . . and anywhere I be out there . . the repeat of everything . . over and over .. an endless of the same . .
What is it about me ?
Sometimes you do know some of your fate , you feel what is yours in this life , so I know and knew that I’ll never marry a Local man !!. When people say marriage is new life , then it should mean exactly that . New everything , new place , new culture ( that agrees with mine of course ) and much less people and only good ones ! for a change ! let me see the good ones before I leave earth .Everything that I never lived , otherwise what is the point of this changing of life ? Life offers more than what people call ” normal ” life , why we all stuck in one corner in it ?.
I want to leave this place ( drops one tear ) people that I never fit with, something didn’t fit right in here , years trying so hard to adjust my place , I just can’t any more . NEVER BEEN NOR WILL BE HAPPY HERE , ever.
I wanted to be with someone ( sometime I feel – not a kismet :) – the only thing left is being with myself , I like to say with myself than say alone , make it less sad ), want to be away from every asshole & bitch who made my life hell in here !, to vanish into beautiful world that is still in God hands , and never found again , be in a place in peace , never hurt , never humiliate , never get damage .
Permission to live ? what a joke !.