Nihilism .

13
Jan Veth

By Jan Veth

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Magna . . . Summa !

13, LOL, The idea of Shosho

Am I too hopeful  ?  Or is it , if Trump got into the White House

 

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Why these ?  I need to be on the east side north in tiny space of America where more people used  to others , not necessary accept !   .. or they just don’t give a … about you  like  most decent  New Yorkers  do ! . My safety not big names ! I wear hijab ,and  it is  crazy to be in any other parts of U.S right now   .I seriously had trouble to find a Uni ! wondering if they will accept me ( as I am , LOL ) and  offer type of degree I need (?)  in  whole of America  .. but  forget the foreigners,   where do the citizens  go to study and what kind of education they get  ?  for real .I totally understand why the Ivies don’t accept non white  and non uppers ! and only Chinese for International students .. poor them ! they do not have enough place . This is sad … way sad , that  I actually considered the “God talker”  Pat Robertson’ university as a last option !. They don’t even have 5 stars hotels over there !.

Now what ? try again ? one more year ? what to do in between ? go to Africa and save a village ? yeah ,  that would make my resume look great .Whatever it takes ! .

What am I doing ? … I want to die , a wish I kept since BIRTH !  … but am still here in this world .. so try to figure things to spend time . Nothing much …nothingness .

I’ll made me a t-shirt  with : Ain’t  favo  , a  favourite  person .  They say ” unable to take favorable  action ”  … unable ? was  the committee drunk  ? .I  thought I had  a good plan for  restart …obviously  they thought  it was too late too useless , LOL .

Do I blow chances or do I never get them right and fair ? .The major question of my f**ked up life .